What is Dan doing?

Ok sorry people, I've been REALLY busy. See below...



Dan.

Back in Guatemala

So I went (came?) to Vancouver (home?) for a while to work. Some people call that the "real world". I know better... But I'm back in Guatemala again. Just can't get enough.

Since I've been gone (5 months), everything has changed and yet remained the same. I travel light as many of you know, usually just my ukulele, toothbrush and camera. This time however, I had FOUR bags!!! No I didn't go on a shoe-buying expedition. I brought 3 laptops (for friends in Guatemala who have exorbitant import taxes here), 6 textbooks on metal casting, sand casting, oil furnaces, and masonry engineering, 3 circuit boards and various electronics (for AIDG), 3 bottle brushes and 2 bags of corks (for Xelavesa, a microbrewery I'm helping get off the ground), my ukulele, camera and toothbrush. So I took a cab around to look for a hostel (the first one was full).

My first breath brought back so wonderful rich memories, triggered by that smell which I think is probably burning plastic. Ahh Guatemala...

Buses and traffic were as lively as ever, but there have been some CRAZY changes. Motorbikes in Guatemala City are only allowed one single person on them and you must wear a reflective vest with your license number and a helmet with your license number now. Apparently there were too many drive-by gunnings on motorbike so they're enforcing these crazy rules now. I'm happily riding my motorbike around with just a regular helmet (you'll be happy to know dad), and guests aplenty since those rules don't come into effect until June 7. I might try to sell it by then t0 avoid the hassle of getting reflective numbers on a jacket and helmet. I don't actually have a license here, so there may be other problems as well with getting those numbers.

A lawyer defending a previous assasination victim was assasinated and he left a video indicating it was the President of Guatemala who was at least partially responsible as well as Banrural (the biggest bank in Guatemala). He apparently has significant evidence for this that he left with various friends who are appealing to the courts to seek justice. People are quite agitated and there have been protests pro and against the President. Rumours are flying like crazy, but fortunately no bullets... yet.

There have been at least six earthquakes today in Xela. Mostly small ones, one of them spilled my tea, or it could have been my shakey hands from last night at Ojala. Earthquakes make me nervous so I'm leaving Xela for a bit.

Well actually... I'm meeting Gogi in Guatemala City and then we're heading to Tikal, the most epic of all the Mayan ruins discovered so far.

Hasta pronto!

Dan.

PS: There have just been 2 more tremours since writing this. I think I'll be safer at a bar with open mic...

ROXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light

Don't worry people, we didn't kill any birds in this post, although we have been threatening Roxanne, Katherine and James (our three laying hens) with certain punishments if they don't start laying eggs PRONTO.

Anyways, I'm not sure whether it was the slaying of the other three birds to make the Turducken or whether it was the fire we built outside their coop...

This will keep you warm little birdies...

Or whether it was just that they wanted to spite Dave...

Doesn't he look so smug leaving Xela.

But FOUR days after Dave left Xela, Eva (one of Mama Cony's daughters) found FOUR EGGS in the chicken coop!!!  WOOHOOO!!!  Roxanne was especially ecstatic because it meant we weren't going to turn her into chicken soup.

Good job laying eggs, Roxanne!  I rewarded her with more table scraps than usual.

The other two hens haven't started laying, and there are various theories afloat.

1. "Obviously" they need a cock to get them laying.  This is the prevalent Guatemalan theory.
2. They need more food.  This is at least partially correct, since I started feeding the chickens more food after Dave left.
3. They need a better shelter.  This is also at least partially correct, since Dave built them a couple of new shelters that they really enjoy before he left.

See these?  These are what keep you from becoming chicken soup, you scared little hens.

So anyway, you're all probably curious about the most important thing:  How did they taste?  Well, take a good look at how rich those eggs look.  It's almost like they were laid with salt and pepper on them...

Que rico!  Look at that rich yellow colour.

For breakfast today Vergil and I had Cajun/Tanzanian/Basil Chicken Soup (the recipe is a secret, or else I was drunk when I made it and can't remember what I  put in), and homebaked bread (in the brick oven Dave and I built), and most importantly tasty Roxanne eggs.

Desayuno de championes.

Only Dave will appreciate the pelton turbine cup we left on the table for the photo.

Dan.

Turducken!

It's been a while since I've posted. I returned to Canada to work for a while and Dave took a few liberties with the blog, namely calling me a drunk, to which I have no recourse.  But now I'm back and ready to entertain you again and call a Dave a ... murderer!!!  GASP!  (enter cheesy horror music)

Los Matadores de Pajaros (the murders of birds). From left to right: Vergil, Alvin, Dan, and Dave. Only Vergil smiles on, the rest of us too hardened.

Turducken: Noun.  An abhorration of nature created by stuffing a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey.  The dressings between the birds frequently include sausages, shrimps, and oysters, further descrating mother nature and/or good sense.  The origin of such a "bird" is somewhere in the southern states (probably Louisiana), although both the British and the French have documented multi-bird roasts at various points, usually attributed to the spirit of EXCESS.  The French apparently did one with 17 birds, most species now considered endangered or extinct, the last so small it could be stuffed with a single olive.

As some of you know, Meg (or Megazilla or Megatron), and Alvin and the chipmunks (Karin and Yasmine) came down to Guatemala to visit Dave and I.  Meg and Yasmine left early, but Karin and Alvin stayed to make a Turducken.  This is Karin, Dave and my third Turducken together.  And in the spirit of excess, this time we decided to go a little more hardcore...

We went to the market to find "un chompipe [Guatemalan word for turkey, normally un pavo], un pato y un gallina, por favor" (a turkey, a duck, and a chicken, please).  After searching three markets, we found a lady selling such birds.  She was amused that us gringos would want to buy these live birds ("can we get a discount for buying three birds?"), and possibly even more amused when our next questions were "how do we kill them?" and "how do we feather them?".  The three birds were stuffed into a costale (large bag) and we brought them back by motorbike.

Chompipe (Turkey)

Pato (Duck)

Gallina (Chicken)

Mama Cony (a Guatemalan woman who has taken a particular liking to me) was also supportive of our decision to kill the birds ourselves: "Va estar una experiencia, Danielito" ("it will be an experience, little Daniel").  Boy was she right...

Karin, sharpening the knives like only an Arikushi knows how.

We split up the killings so we would all have a turn.  Neither Vergil nor Karin were particularly keen on the killing, so Alvin did the chicken, I did the duck and Dave did the turkey.  To be more humane, we tried rinsing the board and floor between killings.  We also kept the other birds out of sight of the one being killed.  I'm sure any local Guatemalans would have laughed at us.

Alvin decapitating the chicken, while Dave holds on.

Dan decapitates the duck, while Vergil holds on.

Dave prepares to chop the turkey.  Karin holds the wings while I hold the legs.  I look pretty stoked.

The chompipe pesadilla (turkey nightmare) began with that first stroke of Dave's cleaver.  Karin was supposed to be holding the wings, but she got startled.  I've used all my computer and internet prowess to figure out how to add music to a movie and then upload it, so you better watch it!  Kudos to Vergil for the soundtrack, it was meant to be.  Keep paying attention at least until 1:21 in the movie.  That bird has been decapitated and dead for over a minute...

The Turkey Pesadilla.

Each bird was hung to let more blood drip out.  We figured this would make the gutting and deboning much easier.

First bird successfully hung.

Then came the more time-consuming part: de-feathering the birds.  The duck was particularly bothersome because of all the really fine feathers it had which prevented the hot water from reaching the skin.  The hot water really makes de-feathering much easier.

Feathering time.  We have a pot of hot water to help nurse the feathers out.

Karin finished de-feathering her bird first.

The next step was gutting, which was like a hands-on anatomy lesson with much conjecturing as to which parts were worth eating and which were not.  We tried to be as careful as we could to not pierce any of the intestines or bile sacks to avoid contaminating the meat.  Alvin and Dave looked up some videos on youtube first to learn how to do it.  Apparently the two minute video they watched was sufficient, as shown below (it took closer to half an hour to gut the first bird):

Alvin and Dave with the first successful gutting.

Dave and I gut the turkey and duck, while Karin washes some dishes.

We deboned the birds to make serving them much easier, and Karin and I made the dressings:

1. Camarone (shrimp) dressing for inside the chicken.
2. Longaniza (beef sausage) dressing for between the chicken and duck.
3. Chorizo (spicey pork sausage) dressing for between the duck and turkey.

These dressings were roughly based on Paul Prudhomme's recipe, which we had made before, but modified heavily for local ingredients.  Karin had the great idea of making empanadas (fried bread with stuffing inside), which were awesome.  The Taiwanese empanada place in Xela is famous worldwide for its tasty treats.  We served them with soy sauce and balsamic vinegar.

To complement our turducken feast, various other people brought food.  Vergil had slaved away making loaf after loaf of tasty bread in our oven (you've seen photos in previous posts).  Some of the flavours included: tasty white bread, olive bread, rosemary bread, and sweet dried pepper bread.  We splurged and bought butter.  Vergil also made an awesome chutney that sparked a rash of conversations in East Indian accents.  Laura made a delicious salad.  Ryan brought some homebrew and cranberry sauce.  Mama Cony brought rice and strawberry and papaya/carrot helados (icecream-like tasty deserts).  Quite possibly there was more, wine and other alcohols at the very least.

It's feast time!

After dinner we sat around our fire pit and sung kombaya (or maybe weezer).

Dave had been working on some coffee roasters as a side project for AIDG after some community gave him 15lbs of raw coffee.  He decided to test his prototype later that night.

Dave's first or second prototype coffee roaster, roasting some fresh coffee over the embers.

Dan.

Gormet Cuisine

I was just looking through some old pictures and found this epic shot:

One mother@#$%ing giant pile of processed
cheese! Stick of butter at right shown for scale.
Also note massive pile of wrappers in background.

This giant pile of processed cheese is surely one of the greatest things that has ever graced our humble kitchen. Some friends that Dan and I met at a drunken arm wrestling contest (another story), offered to come over and cook us dinner one night. They had been living with a host family for a while and had thus been subsisting off a mainly tortilla diet for way too long. They were so excited at the prospect of "western" food, that they told us they would cook us a giant Tex-Mex feast if they could use our kitchen. Obviously, we agreed.

When they showed up, they had brought with them enough oil in the form of "cheese product" to heat a Canadian house for a winter. The above pictured pile of artery clogging goodness eventually became a truly magnificent nacho cheese sauce. Don't ever let anyone tell you that processed cheese doesn't have its place in haut cuisine. It was really an amazing sauce.

Here's one more shot of "cheese mountain":

Its not easy peeling this much cheese. The head chef
and her sous-chef are hard at work here.

Home Improvement

Why is Dan hugging this filthy mattress on top of a burning pile of bricks? Read on to find out!

Could he be crazy? drunk? hungover? All are definite possibilities, but there is another more important reason for this seemingly inexplicable behavior. We had just finished the construction of our very own brick oven!

We started this project shortly after arriving in Xela and finding out that our house didn't have an oven. In a state of giddy enthusiasm, this seemed like a cheap and (get this...) easy way of providing bread baking capabilities to the intern house. Well, the project ended up taking the better part of 3 months to finish and involved feats such as carrying backpacks full of bricks across town, but in the end it was all worth it. This (in conjuction with probable drunkeness) is why Dan is looking so blissful resting his head on a dirty burning matress.

Below are some pictures of our handywork.


Dave

Here you can see the oven in operation.
We did weigh the pros and cons of building
a wood fired oven in our garage and in the
end staying dry while cooking won out
over turning the garage into a smokehouse.
Actually, we see this as a pro as well. Once
we get some meat hooks, well... welcome to
Jerkyville!

The first time we fired 'er up, we decided that
spraying some propane into the middle of the
fire would be a great way to speed up the
pre-heating process. Unfortunately, there's no
picture of the molten pile of Aluminum that
resulted. Don't worry Mum, no trips to the burn
ward this time.

I guess I still haven't explained exactly why there
is a old straw mattress on top of the oven. Besides
drastically increasing the chances of a house fire, its
main function is to add some extra insulation to the
oven.

Some leftovers from Bakefest I. Lamb roast, jerk
pork roast, spider-shaped bread. All delicacies
from the oven.

"Classical" Musicians For Hire

Its been a busy couple months for the Vigilantes of Funk. In between our weekly shows at Ojala, we've been having marathon practices 2 or 3 nights a week to make sure our funk is all in order. We were all feeling a bit burnt out after our Halloween show (see pictures on facebook: Los Vigilantes Del Funk) and decided to take a week off. However plans around here seem to be pretty fickle and Virgil and I ended up playing a show on Thursday night anyways.

Basically, what happened was: A freind of Kike's (the owner of Ojala) called him, to see if he knew any musicians who could play an instrumental set at university event. Kike called another friend, who called Steve, who told me and Virgil about this. Being as though we were kind of bored at work, we decided to meet this guy and see what he was looking for. What he had in mind was some classical music while people made their way into some sort of conference and then something a little more upbeat for the reception afterwards. Also, he wanted us to audition on the spot. Hmmmm...

Well Virgil and I don't actually know any classical music, but the guy said he was willing to pay us 200Q for the gig and we did have an acoustic guitar (me) and a mandolin (Virgil) - very classical instruments. Thinking quickly, I suggested to Virgil we play some "classical" Metallica and Guns 'n Roses. I figured as long as we played the songs slowly and with lots of picking no one would know the difference. It worked out great. We played "Sweet Child of Mine" and "Nothing Else Matters" and he said we'd be perfect!

This was all happening Thursday afternoon by the way, about 2 hours before we were to start playing. So we quickly went home to run over a few more "classical tunes" and put on white dress shirts (something I've seen classical musicians do a lot). When we rocked up to the university a bit later, the scene was frankly a bit intimidating. Everyone was impecabbly dressed in suits and ties and the conference was in a small, church-like room that looked like it could have hosted a presidential address. We met our buddy and he ushered us right up to a small stage at the front of the room and told us to start playing. We were both pretty dazed by the whole thing and were pretty sure our sham was going to get called. But in times of trouble you've got to go with what you know, so we launched into some "classical" Grateful Dead. We played for about 45 minutes while the suits filed in, and I've got to say they were diggin it! We left as the conference started to a solid round of applause and went to go grab a bite to eat before the reception set.

The second set went smoothly and we got fed lots of tasty food and a bottle of wine. After we wrapped up, Juanta, the guy we had been talking to, paid us and then invited us back to his bar for more free drinks and food. We ended up getting pretty drunk with him and his friends and had a damned fine night. It turns out that he also wants the Vigilantes to play a weekly show at his bar, which sounds sweet to me. I'll keep you all posted on what happens.

Dave

Concrete Slides...

Dan and I had to change the oil in our motorcycles the other day, so to warm up the engines a bit first, we decided to take a quick cruise up Baul, a nearby hilltop park. I had been up Baul a few times but had never partaken in one of the main attractions - the infamous concrete slides. This is pretty much the first thing people mention when Baul comes up (after the spectacular view). So seeing as though we were up there anyways, and for a change there we no annoying kids hogging the slides, we decided to give em a rip. Up until this point, everything sounds cool. However, here's a few extra details: (1) The slides are steep. And long. (2) It had been raining and the slides were wet. (3) I was wearing sandals. (4) We decided to slide down on flattened oil containers for extra speed. (4) The slides are made of @#*!ing CONCRETE!

To be honest, I was a little uncertain about the whole thing, but hell, I had seen small infants sliding down, so I was not about to back down. So I hopped on my oil container and let 'er rip. I started picking up speed at a pretty alarming pace and because I was in sandals, didn't want to use my feet to brake. I caught a bit of air going over a hump in the slide, but managed to stay on course. It actually all pretty fun...until the end.

The slides end in a small concrete 'holding pen' about a foot off the ground, so basically, your only hope of surviving is to land on your feet. Well, lets just say that if that happened, I wouldn't be writing this post. I hit the concrete and slid across the holding pen with one foot underneath me (which turned out not to be too good for my foot) until I hit the wall at the far end. The picture below pretty much sums up the results of my concrete slide experience. Needless to say I'm not big proponent. Guatemala is full of hazards though, and considering I was riding a motorcycle around in sandals as well, I probably shouldn't be too upset.




Until next time,
Wear closed toed shoes.

Dave

Los Vigilantes Del Funk

Alright. First off I've got to apologize. This post is waaaaay overdue. It is truly a momentous piece of news and there's no excuse for keeping it from our loyal readership this long. So, without further delay...we have started a band! We are The Vigilantes of Funk. Now, Dan and I have been skipping school/studying/working/family events/etc... to jam for as long as long as I can remember. We've even gotten our shit together enough to play a couple shows at parties, barbeques and that sort of thing. But this time, things are serious. After talking about it for a couple weeks, we got together a solid group including: us (los conquistadores), Steve, Kyle, Lindsay and Allison and started practicing. Through Steve's vast network of connections in Xela, we got ourselves a gig at Oja-La, a sweet bar/lounge before we had even found all our band members. We rocked our first show and now have a weekly gig there in the much covoted Friday night timeslot. Somewhat contrary to our name, we are playing a mix of rock, pop, local hits. Of course we always include a healthy dose of the funk.

Our current lineup, which has changed a bit since the band's inception, includes:

Dan (ukelele, bass)
Dave (guitar)
Steve (guitar, bass)
Virgil (mandolin, harmonica)
Allison (vocals)
Lindsay (vocals)

We've got a facebook page going for Los Vigilates Del Funk too. If you want to check out some pictures, set lists and the latest gossip from what's been dubbed "Xela's funnest band" add us and revel vicariously in our lives as rock stars.

Keep the funk alive.
Dave

Working hard or hardly working...

Unfortunately, at the moment it seems to be the former. Lately work seems to be really interfering with what I consider my primary occupations: playing music, riding around on the motorcycle and of course writing for Los Conquistadores De Pupusas.

Seeing as though all this time is being squandered on work, I though I might as well write a quick post to let everyone know what I'm doing. My big project of the moment is building an anemometer (wind speed measuring device). It is going to look kind of like a weather vane when finished and will record the wind conditions at a potential wind turbine site. We're going to install in a community near Coban for about a month to see if we can set up some wind power for the people there. I'll try and post some pictures when it starts to look interesting.

I'm also working on casting some new pelton cups (which are turbine parts) for a micro-hydro system in Nueva Allianza. I haven't really done anything on this project yet, but I'm totally stoked to start playing around with the casting furnace that another intern built. This could be one of the few projects where I feel the need to wear closed shoes as opposed to sandals.

I'm also headed out to check out a new potential micro-hydro site tomorrow. These visits are always interesting and usually accompanied by the eating of several dozen tortillas per meal. Yum.

There's lots of more interesting stuff I have to report on, but it will have to wait for another post. Just to keep our readership interested, some of the upcoming posts will be: "The Vigilantes of Funk", "Independencia", "Home Improvement" and "Concrete Slides: Economical Playground or Silent Killer". Stay Tuned!

Dave

Electrical Engineers...

...seem to have this reputation for being the "cleanest" and most high tech breed of engineers. People picture them working on satellite electronics in a NASA clean room, or meticulously soldering together microchips that will cure cancer and record the next five Friends episodes for you at the same time. Well, today its my pleasure to dispel this stereotype. Here's a picture I snapped of Dan's workplace while he stepped away for a minute (probably to replenish the empty bottles). Lets see how many out of place items you can spot in the picture:



To name but a few, there are:

- open alcohol bottles
- flammable aerosol spray
- high voltage circuit with exposed wiring
- a large puddle of water

Now, this would be pretty funny if I had set the whole thing up just to take a crack at electrical engineers. That is part of my sworn duty as a mech. eng. But this scene was not altered in any way - honestly! This is serious shit people. Keep a close eye on any electrical engineers you know and for god's sake, under any circumstances, don't ever stand next to one in a puddle of water!

Dangers of Guatemala

Sorry loyal fans, we've been really busy the past few weeks what with our exorbitant drinking binges, picking up Hall's cough candy promotion girls, and otherwise rockstar lifestyle (more on this in a coming post with photos). I thought I'd give you a nice warm fuzzy feeling that life is well and we are doing great. Ok, that's it, now on to some recent events...

A view of Xela over one of the most common security systems: shards of broken glass on top of your walls.

As mentioned before in some detail, gastrointestinal illness is one of the greatest perils (aside from wild dogs) in Guatemala. Dave and I have been doing our best to cultivate these endangered microbes in our intestines, and very soon we will be announcing the winners and honorable mentions for our Great Gastrointestinal Competition (aka Shit Contest). It's quite a close race right now, and the decision will be a hard one. But further upstream of the gastrointestinal tract, there is another perilously dangerous host of microbes; ones which neither Dave nor I will try to be saving. They live in your mouth and (get ready for a highly technical description): eat sugar and shit cavities.

The amount of sugar that is consumed here is incredible. Pretty much every type of food has sugar added, and then the omnipresent snacks are omni-sugared as well. Emily, one of the previous interns, left AIDG and returned home to find that she had developed 8 cavities. Kat, Kyle's girlfriend, returned home temporarily to find out that she has 12 cavities. I've decided that common sense is going to have to prevail in this country and I'm going to have to start brushing my teeth more than the recommended once every 6 months. Wait... was that for dentist visits? In any case, my dental hygiene is going to improve, so you'll all benefit if you ever stand closer than 4 feet from me.

This week there have been nation-wide protests over instituting a national ID card. I was unable to travel outside of Xela to a community needing urgent repairs to their microhydro generator until Tuesday, when rumour had it the road that I needed wasn't being blocked, presumeably because the protesters had slept in. Natalia, one of the girls at Xelateco (one of AIDG's incubated businesses in Xela), who lives near Cantel (on the other side of the road block) couldn't come to work earlier this week because she was threatened to be burnt alive if she crossed the road block. She's now living at her friend's house in Xela and can't return home for fear of being caught crossing the line. In general no one is too concerned here otherwise, although Natalia may move into the intern house temporarily, which will be good for our Spanish, and good for her physics and math courses she's taking; I've already been tutoring her a bit, which is tough in Spanish.

Another perhaps less worrisome trend (haha) is the robbery and assault problem here. I think I may have mentioned that a few of our colleagues were robbed. Usually a small group of thugs come up to the target or targets and tell them to give up all their valuables. They are usually armed with knives or tools, although guns are more common on highways and roads. One group that robbed Natalie and Josue was armed with large screwdrivers. Natalie was assaulted twice and Josue was robbed another couple of times. Once he was robbed of a candy bar (all he had) on his way to our house. I was standing a stone's throw away taking pictures of clouds when he urgently told me to get in the house before they stole my camera. El Jefe (the boss) was robbed in his car once at gunpoint and they took his laptops and other valuables. Natalia, from Xelateco, was robbed outside of Domino's Pizza a couple blocks away at 8am before work one day. Candido, one of the stocky guys at Xelateco was robbed on Monday night at 7pm right outside Xelateco (which incidentally is right beside the AIDG office) and relieved of 850Q (a lot of money for a Guatemalan). It was a pretty good language lesson in curse words when Candido explained what happened. I guess it's only a matter of time before Dave or I get robbed. Apparently when we rode our bikes to the lake last weekend we unwittingly rode through a particularly dangerous road, known to the locals to have gangs of ladrones (theives) armed with AK-47's. Ignorance may be bliss, but we won't be returning to that road any time soon.

Finally more of an irritation to some than a veritable danger, are those pesky chinches (bed bugs). All of our roommates and most of our guests have picked up bedbugs at some point or another, while Dave and I have remained incredulously immune. Based on empirical evidence, we believe that the bugs prefer women to men, and everyone else in the world to Canadians. So being Canadian boys provides us with a particularly useful immunity. Katie is especially annoyed at the moment, being the only girl in the house right now, she's basically like a black hole for the resident bed bug population.

I think Dave has a few words to say about my workbench... but from me, that's all for now.

Dan.

Goooooooooooolllllllllllll!!!!

So I went to my first Latin American football (soccer) game last night. In fact it was the first game I've ever been to. It was definitely an experience.

Me, Kyle, Kate and a few other friends made the trek over to the stadium to see a highly anticipated independence week match between the Xela Super-Chivos (Super-Goats) and the Guatemala City Cremas (Creams?). I'll leave it up to you to insert the inappropriate joke of your choice here. It was kind of cold and drizzly out, but always thinking ahead, Kyle brought along a bottle of Quetzaltecca which helped us out in a couple ways: First, after buying a couple plastic baggies of Pepsi, we had some tasty drinks to keep us warm, and second, we were able to barter with some locals for some seats in the packed stadium.

As the start of the game neared, the field cleared and a SWAT team walked out onto the field. Interesting. I figured there must be a VIP coming out for the opening face-off (or whatever they do to start soccer games). But no, it turns out that the SWAT team was escorting the refs onto the field! Apparently, the fans here don't take too kindly to botched calls. I also noticed that the fans for the visiting Cremas had their own fenced off pen-like area in one corner of the stadium. Almost like their lives could be in danger...

With the refs safely in the middle of the field, the Cremas came onto the turf, met by deafening boos, miscellaneous projectiles (explaining why the Pepsi came in bags) and the odd firecracker. Then the Super-Chivos came out (accompanied by their super goat mascot of course). Now beforehand, I had noticed some guys laying out long strips of red paper around the edge of the field, but hadn't really taken much notice of it. As the team came out, these red strips of paper, which were actually tens of thousands of firecrackers, were lit off in a display of excess that would make any 12 year old boy shed a tear of joy. As the entire stadium filled with smoke and gunpowder fumes, I noticed people in the stands next to us pulling out their own personal stashes and shooting off roman candles and bottle rockets out over the stands while they shielded their faces with one arm. The whole thing made a complete mockery of all those firecracker safety talks we had in elementary school. Kyle added a nice perspective by stating (accurately) that to have a show like this in the States, you would need to hire a team of "pyrotechnics engineers", submit detailed plans and safety procedures, and get multiple levels of official approval. Here you just need a few hundred bricks of mighty mights and some brave fool to set them off.

To be honest, the rest of the game was a bit anti-climactic after the opening events. The Super-Chivos got trounced 3-1, there were no streakers, brawls or other disorderly conduct, and the refs (again escorted by SWAT) left the field without incident. We went to a little cantina afterward and drank some Coosha, a homemade liquor that may make you blind after habitual use, but costs only 60 cents for a small bottle. See you soon (hopefully).

Dave

Mexico and back again

Tourist visas here in Guatemala last 90 days, after which you have a couple of options. Continue staying here and pay a large per diem fine when you leave, or leave the country and return. Officially you must leave the country for 3 days, but there are a couple of ways around that. Steve, Kyle and I needed to renew our visas within the next days to weeks, so we figured we'd all go together to Tapachula, Mexico for tasty tortas and a visa renewal.

We left together early-ish in the morning. I jumped back on the coffee train, which I've been trying to stay away from, due to my hangover from the XelaTeco party the night before. Normally drinking with Guatemalans leaves me muy crudo (very raw or hungover) the next mornings. The coffee made the long chickenbus and microbus/collectivo ride much more endurable.

There are a couple of vital pieces of information we picked up about renewing visas in a day. Here are the most common methods:

• Check in with a parking lot in El Carmen (a small Guatemalan border town), who offer hourly, daily, monthly parking services, and visa rewals starting at 700Q, and working their way down quickly with minimal bargaining.
• Leave out of Tecun Uman (a larger Guatemalan border town) and enter back in El Carmen, where the officials are more susceptible to cheaper bribes.
• Stay out of the country for the official 3 days.

We figured the second option was superior. Tecun Uman was really sketchy, and there were lots of groups of tough sketchy looking people armed with large guns staring us down as we walked through the streets towards the border crossing. I'm going to try to never go through that town again. The immigration officials were professional and actually nice, and there were no problems getting out of Tecun Uman. It rained, which really sucked. And we saw the river that significant numbers of Central Americans cross illegally to smuggle themselves into Mexico, final destination USA. I can understand why there are hundreds of deaths, because it was flowing pretty fast. Apparently during dry season you can simply wade across. Read Enrique's Journey for a more gripping journalist's tale of this illegal journey to the states.

We entered Mexico without problems either, and bussed to Tapachula for tasty tortas. Mexico, even supposedly much poorer Chiapas, was noticeably richer than Guatemala, and the food is much better too, even just crossing the border. We ended up at this cantina where they didn't cook food, but were happy to oblige us gringos with our hungry demands for tasty tortas, which were so good we each ordered another. In the cantina, there were two prostitutes who were extremely friendly. And then fucking Steve started winking at them! So one of them came over and displayed her hideous gummy pointed toothy mouth which scared us into leaving. Well, after 3 L of beer... They served Coronas in 1L bottles, called "Familiar". Our waitress explained they were family-sized. One for papa, one for mama, and one for each child.

We returned back through El Carmen with no troubles. When confronted with officials who don't speak Spanish, you have two options as a foreigner:

• Pay a bribe. 50-100Q usually seems to work.
• Play the "no entiendo" (I don't understand) card.

We played the "no entiendo" card and it worked like a charm. I cracked up laughing when I heard Kyle speaking Spanish with an American accent (he normally speaks fluently with a slight Argentinian accent). It nearly cost us our guise. But we got through without needing to pay any bribes or "service fees" and all we got was a verbal reprimand for not staying out for 3 days.

When we got let off the microbus in Coatepeque, we'd missed the last chickenbus to Xela, so we negociated with taxis until we got a crazy cab driver to drive 80 km/h through mountain switchbacks in the dark, cutting oncoming lanes at each blind switchback (there's no other way to take them at that speed). Steve and I figured we'd probably die, but miraculously we didn't.

We ended up checking out a beauty pagent, which was what you might expect. A theatre full of Guatemalans whistling like crazy at the scantily clad women on stage. We missed the Ms. Indigenous (where the girls are dressed in traditional clothes). Then I returned home and some girls we met at a bar last week came to our house and cooked us a big tasty Tex-Mex feast. A good conclusion to our Mexican trip.

Dan.

Office Hijinks

Howdy y'all. So I'm leaving this morning for a road trip to Coban, which is about halfway between here and the Caribbean coast. We're going to check out a couple potential micro-hydro sites and discuss the possibility of setting up a co-operative company to operate and maintain the power plants. Anyways, I thought I'd share a humorous little anecdote before I left.

On one of our previous site visits, I was driving the AIDG truck out along a pretty rugged dirt road. It was pretty heavy going, but I was having a great time 4-wheelin it through mud, ruts, over rocks... well you get the idea. Apparently though, I was having a bit too good of a time and somehow ripped off one of the plastic fenders on a rock or something.

No biggie though, the truck has taken much more abuse than that during its short and neglected life. Being the upstanding volunteer that I am though, I offered to fix the damage and went out and bought some fiberglass and epoxy. I fixed the fender up and as chance would have it, I happened to have a bit of Loctite high strength epoxy left over. Hmmmm.

Now by this time it was about 5:30 on a Monday afternoon and pretty much everyone was still kicking around the office. Everyone that is except for Steve, aka El Jefe. Yes, the captain of the ship had deserted his crew and unfortunately for him, he chose the wrong day. In my mind there was only one way to sensibly dispose of the extra epoxy...

The epoxy was first applied to the bottom of
a can of Gallo...

Then, after carefully preparing the surface
of course, the beer was firmly glued to
El Jefe's desk.

Meg would have you believe she was innocent
in this whole affair, but just look at those
mischievous eyes.

The task is complete. The plan being that Steve will
come into work the next morning, see the beer,
and try to drink it. Upon attempting to lift the frothy
goodness to his lips, he will be dismayed to find it
securely glued to his desk. Hilarity will surely ensue.
In a stroke of genius, Dan came up with the idea
of gluing a straw to the desk too, increasing the
frustration level of our beloved boss.

Ok, skip to Tuesday morning. El Jefe shows up for work and... well I'll let the next few pictures tell the story.

After cracking the beer and finding it glued
to the desk, Steve is determined to steal the
cheese from the mousetrap. El Jefe is one strong
guy (he used to wrestle in college), so he actually
starts lifting the desk up to tip the beer down
his gullet!

The epoxy held up admirably and Steve got
the beer (and desk) nearly to his lips before it
finally let go. I'll be filing a complaint to Loctite
shortly regarding their epoxy.


The satisfaction of thwarting the beer-trap.
Though there was a small amount of spillage,
this round definitely has to go to El Jefe. Well
done Steve!

Around lunch time, I was getting ready to head home for a siesta, tired out from my late night of gluing and early morning watching Steve struggle with the beer-trap. On my way out, I told Steve I was going home for a nap, and that he'd probably be pleased since I wouldn't be gluing any more objects to his desk for a while. Instead, he was actually disappointed that he wouldn't be getting any more free beers for the day! Don't worry El Jefe, its only a matter of time, only a matter of time...

Dave

Get ya mota runnin!

Ok, so Dan's clearly been dominating me in the blog posts department, but thats all about to change. Starting with this momentous update....

We got MOTORCYCLES!! Oh ya! Me, Dan and Steve (best friend of the Conquistadores) recently purchased Suzuki EN125 street bikes! Ok, I'll try and stop abusing the exclamation mark now. This was something we'd been talking about for a while, but seemed like it would fizzle out like so many other overly ambitious plans. Then out of the blue, Steve laid down the law, "Guys, we going to the lake this weekend, and we're getting bikes before we go." Whatever sort of rational reasoning Dan and I had was no match for such conviction. We got the bikes.

Since one of the reasons for the bikes is a possible road trip back to Vancouver, we thought it would be best if we all got similar bikes. It would kind of suck for everyone if one guy had to make twice as many fuel stops as everyone else, or couldn't keep up on the highway. After a lot of research we settled on the EN125 because of its gutsy motor (14 hp in 125cc ain't bad), reliability and of course its killer looks (see pics below). Also when the three of us rocked up to the Suzuki dealer and asked for 3 of 'em, we got a pretty sweet deal.

Right now we're still going through the agonizingly slow process of breaking in the new motors. We're making every reasonable effort to keep the revs and motor load down until the parts all properly seat, however some taxing of the bikes is unavoidable. Dan made the 3 hour trip to the lake with a female companion on the back the first weekend he had his, and I chivalrously drove 2 girls home (at the same time) one night this week. Down here, 125cc bikes are family vehicles though. Just last week I saw a family of 4 on a Honda CG125 cruising comfortably through Xela.

Anyways, I'm sure you'll hear more about the 2-wheeled thunder in the not-too distant future. Until then enjoy the pictures.

Dave

There she is in all her glory. 14 caballos waiting
to be unleashed!


Dan and I on a late afternoon ride to Fuentes
Gorginas last week. We are on a mission to make
1000 kms ASAP so we can start opening these
beauties up a bit.


You can see the steam coming up from the
ground in the area around these natural
hot springs. Another beautiful moment brought
to you by fossil fuels!

Caldo de Frutas

So Steve, Dave and I went up to the windbelt test site to check it out and ran into Santos (one of the guys from XelaTeco) who was installing some waterproofing there. He told us about one of his aunts who sells Caldo de Frutas out of her house just a little ways away.

We took off through an orphanage, across grass and beside little fence trails until we ended up on a dirt road hidden amongst corn fields. We continued down there taking random rights and lefts at Santos' bidding, stared at by pretty much everyone. Eventually we made it to his aunt's house, were invited in and taught about Caldo de Frutas.

They take every possible fruit they can get their hands on, the usual apples, peaches, cherries, apricots, plums, etc, and some unusual ones such as nancies. They put them in barrels and ferment them for 8-12 months and then bottle them and sell them. It's not a really strong alcoholic beverage, but it's damn tasty and worth the trek.

Here's a photo of the three bottles we bought. The more observant among you may notice that in fact one of the bottles is empty. We drank the whole bottle before remembering to take a picture.

Caldo de Frutas, bottled in whatever bottles were lying around.

I'm really excited because this is the second moonshine I've had in Guatemala!

Dan.

Finca Venezuela

Dave's out at a community right now with Kate and Kyle testing a ram pump. We'll probably post photos and diagrams of that to excite you later. But in the meantime, that explains why Dave hasn't posted for the past week.

In July Kate and I went to a community called Finca Venezuela to study the feasibility of installing a ram pump to pump water from a stream up a tall hill to where their community will likely expand in the coming year. Almost none of these communities have access to running water and regular pumps are prohibitively expensive for people living off of a few dollars per day.

We spent most of the day talking with the locals. Sometimes it can feel like work takes place at a snail's pace because of all the formalities and talking you have to do. We had two goals for this community visit:

1. Feasibility of installing a ram pump in the community.
2. Questioning the community members about their candle usage for light.

The first was accomplished by trudging around outdoors, which is always fun: getting dirty, getting exercise, worrying about dengue fever and malaria. The conclusion was that the ram pump was feasible, but not exactly what we were looking for for an experimental installation (the technology is not yet fully developed).

The second was accomplished by trudging around from house to house eating and drinking coca cola talking to whomever was there. The conclusion was that people were spending over a dollar per night on candlelight. Compact fluorescent bulbs can produce WAY more light for a fraction of the price. One of the things that keeps poor people poor is the lack of capital to actually purchase a system that would let them save more money. One of the newest things that XelaTeco is researching is microfinancing their own products so that they could go in and tell a community that they could finance a small hydro system which would save them money in the long run.

Anyway, on to the photos:

This is what we have to work with. Neither the biggest nor the cleanest stream.


We're building a little dam to force all of the water through a narrow passage to measure the flow


I am writing notes and discussing where to install pipes.


The interior kitchen of one of the community members' house.


The eating table (I can't really call it a dining room without sounding like a sarcastic jackass).


Bed.


Other beds. The box of clothes is what they can afford instead of drawers.


These are some edible snails. They were attempting to breed them. I think it would be a good thing if they were successful, because whether they could buy more meat or could eat the snails directly, they'd be consuming more protein.


Two turtles they were also trying to mate, or at least feed for a while as pets before eating them.


There's Dan taking a split second camera pose break from his eager devouring of a giant passion fruit. Why can't we import passion fruits this big at home???


Kitchen. Luckily this one is outside, because it produces more smoke than heat.



Finally! A chicken on a chicken bus! This shot was taken super stealthily, which might explain why it's so shitty. The woman is wearing "traje" which are the traditional clothes the Mayans wear.

I hope you enjoyed our time together...

Dan.